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(5 entities Exist Prove that you Exist)

just so you know [12 Jun 2005|04:18am]
[ mood | tired ]

I'm not ignoring any of you.

Stuff happened. Life. A friend is in the hospital, I had 2 exams and between them I've been home rarely. I'm not being a jerk. I'm just trying to turn this town into a real place before I move (approx 1 month)


Other thoughts... I know I have them.

Well, today I bought some records and got some tapes for free because the guy who owns the store digs my taste in music. Tapes are good because we needed some for my friends can that only plays tapes and they're convienent to bring anywhere.

I feel pain. I will go to bed.

(22 entities Exist Prove that you Exist)

just for your personal entertainment [02 Jun 2005|07:26am]
[ mood | aggravated ]

I figured that anyone who reads my journal would find this amusing

I woke up this morning and actually had an arguement with my blankets over who would get out of bed first.

I almost won but when they were part out of bed I was so cold that I had to get out and find a housecoat. I guess my housecoat was in league with them because I can't find either of them, so I'm wearing an old sweater that was my winter coat before someone decided that me dying of hypothermia in an ontario winter was a bad thing.

I don't remember if we verbally argued or not.

What I DO remember is someone calling me very late and going to put on some music and some people who are just not usually available for speaking being online I'm not saying I regret staying up that late. Its just that lately I've been going to bed at like 9pm.
Fortunately today is thursday, ugh, good. I don't have to do anything else with that fetal pig until monday. And no that wasn't an insult to anyone. I just had to locate all its organs and make incisions yesterday, monday I'll have to remove them all. I dislike this whole buisness of just using animals like that. Maybe I'm crazy, but its like softcore vivisection in a way. I'd rather that we just disect cows hearts from the butcher or something. The cow is already being eaten so why waste its heart in the garbage. I'll stop. I'm tired, I need what?

wait a second. My alarm clock in my room is fast. I bet my blankets and house coat did that just to be jerks.

Didn't I already post things about most machines conspiring against me? I think the list was only my computer and 2 phones. Make that my computer, 2 phones and at least 1 alarm clock.

(2 entities Exist Prove that you Exist)

[01 Jun 2005|01:55pm]
[ mood | tired ]

Damn this buisness of being at school for 9 hours and damn their slow internet connections and only half functional computers. Although talking about Einstein with one of the most intelligent people I know was fun, hes off to some meeting that he doesn't want to go to and since I have bio in like 2 hours I don't see the point of going home where I'll more than likely just fall asleep and miss class... again.

Also their screens don't really work, everything overlaps something and they're keyboards and the kind that stick out too far. I guess I'm spoiled by my machine at home. I wish I could bring it with me every single where.

Theres not even anyone particularly interesting around because most of the classes are over by now. Ah well, at least that werewolf kid didn't show up.

Its also a little irritating that its been trying to sign in to msn web messenger for a good 10 minutes now.

(3 entities Exist Prove that you Exist)

[30 May 2005|01:28pm]
[ mood | uncomfortable ]

I hate having an anxiety disorder I really do. And I was supposed to see the doctor last week but I forgot so I ran out of pills on the weekend and now I'm going to have to miss a whole day of school because of it.

This does not please me so I'm hunting around looking for maybe a bottle that I left somewhere that might have one left in it I find some other pills, but what are these? In this little silver package. They're a kind of yellowish pink colour (which is quite hideous) but they might be some kind of pain killer or something that might help me feel like I'm not about to have a heart attack. I know they're not mine, well, I guess they're mine in the sense that I own them now, they're in my bathroom cabinet etc. But I know they weren't prescribed to me and they don't look like anything I've bought over the counter.
So I read the back, and its Vioxx (rofecoxib) and they expired about a year and a half ago. I'm not sure what these are at all so decide to check one of my dictionary programs to see if I can find out because there was an internet outage in my area. Well, its over now so I just looked around online. These pills were taken off the market in 2004 because they were killing people, giving them heart attacks etc. They're meant for arthritis pain and acute pain. So I'm not going to take them since my heart is already feeling strange lately, as stated in some aforementioned post but I wonder whos they were and who left them in my possession. It must have been some time ago, but still while I was living in BC. Probably when I was still living with Will because they were in this wierd little pillar thing that you can open and put things in and I don't think I've opened it since I lived at my last place judging from the other things inside (a really old letter and just some random other stuff)
I'm trying to think of any one else that I know who has arthritis. Maybe I was in pain and someone gave them to me? Maybe that crazy lady who used to live above me, she always had lots of pills around.

Ah well, I guess thats the most interesting thing thats going to happen today, unless I DO find the pills I was looking for. Then all kinds of things can happen, I'll be late for physics but on time for biology. I can go buy those art things that I wanted and dye my hair a colour that isn't blue and go shopping for a few other things. Make arrangements to meet my new landlords and maybe even phone some people and go out and do other interesting things after school.

Machines are so strange, sometimes I wonder about them. I really think that my computer and I have a strange mental connection and my phones both hate me. They ring when I need silence and apparently one of them has taken to phoning people on its own at a time that upon reflection I think I was sleeping at. These crazy machines. At least its only these three that seem to give me any trouble. perhaps I'll go play my organ, and no, that isn't insinuating anything. I actually have a musical organ.

(5 entities Exist Prove that you Exist)

so much yet so little. [29 May 2005|08:11am]
[ mood | okay ]

I have so much on my mind, so much to say and I can't put it together. Thats okay.

heres an image of my star tattoos. Star tattoos were mentioned by mufkin.

I like mine, I wanted them for a while before I got them done. here they are

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

(Prove that you Exist)

Thank you Cassandra! [27 May 2005|07:48am]
[ mood | okay ]

I may never wear heels again!

dear dear converse how had I thought to neglect you for well over a year? You know I might even start wearing pants again, to all those who know me in real life this must be shocking. But Cassandra has changed my view on life. Pants and shoes without high heels are okay!

(7 entities Exist Prove that you Exist)

[25 May 2005|12:57pm]
[ mood | groggy ]

Fuck. No more mopey posts from me.

I just typed one. I erased it. I'll say nothing if thats the only crap I can think of to say

(19 entities Exist Prove that you Exist)

[25 May 2005|05:57am]
[ mood | curious ]

I'm concerned about my heart, it doesn't feel right, like its really irregular. I may have to get off those weight loss pills. My logic tells me that it could be from a combination of those and my tranqs that make me so wierd.

I was making myself pretty today when I was reminded of something Cassandra said. Someone she was talking to reffered to Mongols as "mongoloids". This amused me. Then I remembered that I dated someone once who wanted to make a musical called "Ghengis". This furthered my amusement. Lots of things are really really amusing when you sleep rigoddamndiculous hours. Ugh, what am I going to do from 6am until 1:15? I was going to clean my apartment naked. But I'm too tired for that. maybe those weight loss pills will help wake me up. Maybe they're make me shaky and wierd, Well, I guess you never know. I'm sure that someone will be showing up in not too long, they left things here and are leaving town soon. I know! I'll go put on clothing.

I wish I was in high school, for some reason I recall life being simpler and more fun then. I might be wrong, but for the time being. I'm going to wish I was back in high school. Perhaps I will also play my chinese flute and maybe irritate that neighbour that thinks I'm trying to sleep with her elderly father. Maybe I'll phone Neeners.

Hey! It was Neeners birthday yesterday and yes, she is still demanding her mail.

I wish I could remember where that Julie Cruise album was

(16 entities Exist Prove that you Exist)

cat people [24 May 2005|10:08pm]
[ mood | tired ]

blue haired cat peopleCollapse )

(56 entities Exist Prove that you Exist)

Simon says (for serious) [24 May 2005|09:43am]
[ mood | sad ]

from me, you fucking slut hole mensch maschine.

Simon says "fold back your fucking gunt so I can feed you my felching face"

(21 entities Exist Prove that you Exist)

[22 May 2005|05:04pm]
[ mood | drained ]

dear feet: I'm so so sorry. Please don't run away, I promise never to make you wear those shoes for that long ever again.

dear shoes: You're assholes, you didn't tell me you were so painful, you only mentioned that you're cute.

dear whoever sent me flowers: Thank you, they're very nice.

dear alchohol: I think we should see less of each other. And yes it is you, not me.

dear boy: You're very nice.

dear kitchen: Please clean yourself, you're starting to really irritate me.

dear soap: I hope I'm not allergic to you.

dear aenemia: Please leave. You're an asshole.

dear missdemeanor: You're even more of an asshole than aenemia and my shoes put together. Fuck off and die already.

(1 entities Exist Prove that you Exist)

hello [20 May 2005|06:18pm]
[ mood | apathetic ]

I don't really exist. I am not here. or anywhere.

(13 entities Exist Prove that you Exist)

[19 May 2005|11:31am]
[ mood | scared ]

I am literally terrified of going to school, so many people etc. and I've become a little agorephobic. I left my apartment for less than half an hour yesterday, people stare at me funny, but this IS duncan, This will be a couple hours. Thats it. If I don't go now, I won't go. I'll bring an Einstein book with me and find a place to sit where people won't see me, because if I'm seen, I'll be noticed. God DAMN. If any on meant to buy me something for my birthday and didn't, a music player it is, mp3 would be best, I don't want to do anything other than listen to Foetus. But I WILL go to school today, even if after five minutes I run away.

(Prove that you Exist)

Decisions! [19 May 2005|07:43am]
[ mood | indescribable ]

Well, since I still wake up before 6am.... there were a couple decisions. These were all possibilities. there were four or so. Then two became probabilaties. Then the Blue one becaame the reality.

Hi. My name is Ana and I am an addict......to the new Foetus album. Thanks for mentioning Mr. Moonlight. I hope you're enjoying it too. And thanks for Blood Meridian!

(2 entities Exist Prove that you Exist)

your eyes are..... nothing but unreadable faded ink [19 May 2005|03:12am]
[ mood | hopeful ]

Soon I will have pictures. Two rolls have been taken, so it will only be a few more days now before I can scan in picrures and provide acces to the nicest of them, thanks Wallis!

(10 entities Exist Prove that you Exist)

[18 May 2005|09:31pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]

Hi Lee-lee, I love you!

By the way Autodub. I have the new foetus album. Do you?

(28 entities Exist Prove that you Exist)

[18 May 2005|01:44pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

change is not the only constant. Dust is the only constant.

(Prove that you Exist)

Watertorture, you're awesome [17 May 2005|08:17pm]
[ mood | okay ]

Not only do you post funny things that I like to post after and you have neat things to say AND you made me go out of my way to find my light purple lipstick.

But projectrunway is great. Otherhuman beings who read flaunt? And know the names of fashion designers? Wow.

You just gained even more coolness points in my books.

(Prove that you Exist)

yet another from water torture [17 May 2005|12:37pm]
[ mood | sore ]

You are a pheromone. You are seductive and you know
what you want. You have something about you
that permeates the air and draws people to you.
You can get what you want almost without fail,
like some of the sexiest moths out there.

Which Biological Molecule Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

I thought this was interesting.... what kind of biological molecule are you? and really cute descriptions of why.

(7 entities Exist Prove that you Exist)

[17 May 2005|12:38am]
[ mood | complacent ]

What an interesting weekend.

I figured out what that noise that my computer started making is. I still don't know what (other than myself) has been meowing in my apartment.

Today I am in a lot of physical pain. Sometimes its worth it. I just wonder what people at school are going to think. At least it will make them not really want to ask and therefore no one will say much about me missing some classes.

Thanks Mr Moonlight and Autodub for the advice. It worked. Like a charm.

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